One parent shares her heartfelt story of choosing private education for her daughter after facing unexpected challenges. A must-read for families considering private school options.
My story: A journey I never expected
When we lived in our small village, I never imagined I would one day be a parent paying for private education. The local state school was good, it was warm and community-led, and my daughter thrived there. Like many others, I assumed that good parenting and a supportive environment would be enough to see her through her school years.
But life changed. We relocated following a close family bereavement, and the ripple effect of grief, compounded by the long shadow of Covid, left my daughter, once confident, curious, and outgoing; struggling in ways I hadn’t anticipated. She found it hard to settle, not just once but twice, at two local state schools. Her spark dimmed. Her mental health suffered. I couldn’t keep telling myself she’d be fine “eventually.” Eventually, it wasn’t coming.
Discovering private schools were something different
At crisis point, we began to consider other options. Private school had never been on the table, not for financial reasons alone, but because I had internalised the common narrative: that private education was elitist, morally suspect, a route chosen only by the privileged few. But, what I discovered, instead, was something very different.
The private school we chose didn’t flaunt wealth or exclusivity. It was filled with working parents who, like us, were making sacrifices; giving up holidays, luxuries, even working a second job to afford the fees. They weren’t “buying privilege.” They were buying peace of mind. And I would now do the same again in a heartbeat.
As I’ve come to see, choosing a private school is about far more than class sizes or polished buildings. It’s about ethos. It’s about the space a child is given to grow; not just academically, but emotionally, socially, and creatively.
Wanting more than just good grades
What struck me most was the emphasis on being your best self and kindness. My daughter is taught, not simply to pass tests and get good grades, but to be kind. To herself. To others. Respect, empathy, and confidence—not arrogance, but genuine self-belief—are threaded into the school’s culture. No question is stupid, and every question can be discussed.
Now my daughter is smiling again
The result? A girl who had become anxious and withdrawn is now not just smiling again, but confident, self-assured and knows that anything is possible. She’s part of a school that nurtures ambition rather than mocks it, that says “why not?” and “go for it” instead of “don’t get above yourself.”
Soft skills are not an afterthought here—they’re central. Debating, music, drama and art are not squeezed into the margins of the week or sacrificed to meet targets. They are celebrated. In a time when youth mental health is in crisis, it’s heartbreaking to watch creative subjects being stripped from the state sector just when they’re needed most.
An all-round approach to learning
Perhaps what I appreciate most is the all-round approach to learning. There is no fear of older year groups as they often mix for activities, older students mentor younger ones, and collaboration, supporting and cheering on your peers is valued as much as competition. There’s a genuine family feel and a sense of belonging.
My daughter is being taught to aim high
As someone who went through a rigid, single-sex state school and learned early on that raising your hand too often was the surest route to ridicule, I’m quietly overjoyed that my daughter is being taught to aim high. Nothing is off-limits for her. Her teachers bring not just lesson plans, but stories, life experiences, and beliefs—every one of them is an absolute gem. They remind her, and me, that education is about far more than league tables or results. It’s about becoming.
Rethinking privilege and educational choice
I’m not naïve about the educational inequalities, but I think the conversation around them has become skewed. We talk about privilege as if it’s something shameful to offer a child, when in truth, we all try to give our children advantages, whether by moving house for a better catchment, paying for tutoring, or finding loopholes in the system.
I made the right decision for my child
In the end, I made the decision every parent tries to make, and when my daughter was struggling, I made the right decision for my child. I know this much: my daughter is happy, championed, challenged, and cared for at school, and that’s worth every sacrifice we’ve made.
It’s why I no longer feel the need to apologise, and given the choice again I would make the same one without any doubt.
Still wondering if a private school is the right choice for your daughter?
Book a visit and talk to our Head, meet our staff and pupils, see the school and find out more to help you decide. Contact our friendly admissions team who will be pleased to help and explore the options with you. The team can be contacted via admissions@por.gdst.net or on 023 9282 6714.
